Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize