Your dad touched me again.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize