Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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