dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
