The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
