ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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