You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
