Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
