Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
