**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
