So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize