Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
