Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
