it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
