I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
