i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
