so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
