I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
