I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
