I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I still have a little drunk in my system
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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