the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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