I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
