you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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