How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
