I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
