Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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