after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
