If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
