Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
