Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Sext me about skeletons
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
