Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
