is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
