I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
