When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
party gras won. party gras always wins.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
