We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize