You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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