Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you will always have a special place in my vag
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
