Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm always down for nudity.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
