yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
