i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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