dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
