Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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