Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
