Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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