so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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