Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
