Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
