Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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