Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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