So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize