Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
