she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
