haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
