I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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