I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize