Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize