I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
