what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
