OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
