is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
