We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
