Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
