That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize