quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Less talking, more tequila
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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