Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize