Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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