went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
