he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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