By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
