ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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