where am i from again
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
