I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize