Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
