I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
